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  #51  
Old 16-02-2009, 20:16
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Here's another one Shipmates,

"What will you have?" the waiter said
pensively picking his nose.
"Two hard boiled eggs
you B-----d" I said
"You can't stick your bloody fingers in those".

Baz
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  #52  
Old 16-02-2009, 20:19
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

No Baz .......NOT that type of Navel

You seem to be so good at telling storys and poems I thought you could take a couple of agitated Stokers one side and read them a bedside story to sooth their fevered brows...No ? just a thought


Keep up the good work shipmate

Regards Ivor
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  #53  
Old 16-02-2009, 20:28
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

And another one,

Sometimes when your feeling important
Sometimes when your ego's in bloom
Sometimes when you take it for granted
You are the most qualified man in the room
Sometimes when you feel that your going
will leave an unfillable hole
Just follow this simple instruction
and see how it humbles your soul.

Take a bucket and fill it with water
Put your hand in it up to the wrist
Pull it out, and the hole that is remaining
Is the measure of how much you are missed
You may splash all you wish when you enter
You can stir up the waters galore
But stop and you'll find in a minute
That it looks just the same as before
The moral of this quaint story is
Do the best that you can
Be proud of yourself, but remember
There is no indispensable man.

Baz
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  #54  
Old 16-02-2009, 20:32
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Greetings Ivor,

Not bloody likely, I could'nt trust a stoker.

I'll try and find you a lullaby??

Regards Baz
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  #55  
Old 17-02-2009, 06:27
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

GOOD GOD BAZ ..three pages.....are you an Admiral yet ?


Lulabye sounds good.... but make it short as I find it easy to sleep now days


Do you have a WNSF keyboard presented to you when you get three pages ?

Regards Ivor
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  #56  
Old 17-02-2009, 09:39
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Wink Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by barry-sheila@tiscali.co.u View Post
Here's another one Shipmates,

"What will you have?" the waiter said
pensively picking his nose.
"Two hard boiled eggs
you B-----d" I said
"You can't stick your bloody fingers in those".

Baz
Its Jolly Fine boating weather
Oh for a ride in a Punt
I dont' want to go boating

And I won't finish the next few lines!

And we'll all pull together etc

The sexual life of a bullfrog is hard to comprehend
At the height of the mating season it tries to get rove up its friend
But his friends posterior orifice is blocked up with mucus and slime
which accounts for the eyes on the bullfrog and why it goes "Croak" all the time!

The sexual life of a camel is greater than ayone thinks
At the height of the mating season it ties to get rove up the Sphinx
but the Sphinx's Posterior orifice is blocked by the sands of the Nile
which accounts for the hump on the camel and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile

and a few other verses get worse so I will stop here
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  #57  
Old 17-02-2009, 12:05
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan Steer View Post
As a sometime writer I've looked through my backlog of yarns for a very short story and hopefully this one, "Personal Injury", fits the bill. Hope you enjoy it.
Greetings Jan,

Oh, thats very good, have not seen or heard of that one before. It sort of brings things home.

Well done, I've made a copy of that one.
Keep 'em coming.

Baz
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  #58  
Old 17-02-2009, 12:09
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by barry-sheila@tiscali.co.u View Post
Greetings Jan,

Oh, thats very good, have not seen or heard of that one before. It sort of brings things home.

Well done, I've made a copy of that one.
Keep 'em coming.

Baz
Hello Francis,

Very good mate, I was familiar with those two rhymes.
Lets have some more?

Baz.
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  #59  
Old 17-02-2009, 12:13
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan Steer View Post
As a sometime writer I've looked through my backlog of yarns for a very short story and hopefully this one, "Personal Injury", fits the bill. Hope you enjoy it.
Jan
That was very good, It made me want to read more, Are you a published writer? If not why not, as if you have more of those you would certainly make me want to buy.
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  #60  
Old 17-02-2009, 12:39
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Greetings Shipmates,
Here's another one for you.

The Naval Chain of Command.

The Admiral.
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
faster than a bullet, walks on water
and gives policy to God.

The Captain.
Leaps short buildings with just a single bound.
Is more powerful than a shunting engine,
just as fast as a bullet, walks on water
if sea is calm. Talks to God.

The Commander.
Leaps small buildings with just a running start,
is almost as powerful as a shunting engine,
is slower than a bullet, walks on water in indoor
swimming pools.
Talks to God if special request is granted.

The Lieutenant Commander.
Can just clear little huts,
loses tug of war with shunting engine,
can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well,
is occasionally addressed by God.

The Lieutenant.
Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings.
Sometimes run over by shunting engines.
Can often handle a gun without injury to self,
dog paddles and talks to animals.

The Sub Lieutenant.
Runs into buildings, recognises shunting engines
two out of three times.
Is not issued with ammunition,
can stay afloat in a Mae West. Talks to walls.

The Midshipman.
Falls over doorsteps, says "look at the choo choo"
Not allowed elastic for his catapult.
Plays in mud puddles and mumbles to himself.

The Chief Petty Officer.
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives of their tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth
and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
HE IS GOD.

Baz.
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  #61  
Old 17-02-2009, 12:55
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

And another one,

Overlord June 6th 1944.

Omaha, Utah, Sword, June and Gold,
names that our memories always will hold.
These were the beaches, the birds stopped singing.
Young lives were lost no bells were ringing.

One of the thousands who played their part,
I know not all the fallen.
Though they remain in my heart.

As each year passes and this day doth dawn,
It's for these young men that we still mourn.

Time marches on and I still stand with head bowed.
To have served with these hero's of that I am proud.
God rest their souls oh Lord we pray
this truly was their longest day.

John E Ellson.

Baz,
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  #62  
Old 17-02-2009, 13:19
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

I put this together for a non-naval friend, hence the simplified explanations; so don't be too harsh on the detail or my memory.

Ken
Attached Files
File Type: doc Defaulters.doc (1,019.0 KB, 52 views)
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  #63  
Old 17-02-2009, 15:33
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Baz and Francis: Thankyou for your very kind words. I'm not a published writer but I think I will trawl through my stories, sort out the naval themed ones, write a few more and then see if I can publish them in book form. You never know, others may enjoy them too! I'll keep you posted. You've cheered me up no end!

regards
Jan
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  #64  
Old 17-02-2009, 18:38
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by NSR View Post
I put this together for a non-naval friend, hence the simplified explanations; so don't be too harsh on the detail or my memory.

Ken
Greetings Shipmate,
Fantastic, brought back some memories of my own, some things I had forgotten. But feel more up-todate now. I have made a copy, and is now in my collection. Many thanks.

Baz
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  #65  
Old 17-02-2009, 18:56
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Another one for your ditty box,

A nostalgic reminder of yesteryear
The Daily Tot.
In the days of Admiral Nelson or it may have been before
The Navy got it heritage, it's customs and it's lore.
Some of these were good things
and some of these were not.
But you will never find one to replace that daily tot.

It is'nt served haphazard like tea or even beer
But with pencil, book, and water
and other useless gear.
Jack Dusty and his winger
perform the sacred rite
And drew a swill called two and one
On which we had to fight.

With bottle jug and fanny, we muster at the shrine
Get into line you B------s that so and so fanny is mine
With muttered incantations
like seven, one, and two
The high priest and his acolyte dispense the holy brew.

When the sea's are breaking over and you think you've had enough
When the cook has burned the taters and his oppo burned the duff.
When your lockers full of oggin and hammocks gone to pot
There's now't twixt you and davy
But that little daily tot.

Baz. Happy days.
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  #66  
Old 17-02-2009, 18:57
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

I Like the "chain of command" Brilliant Please keep them coming Lads
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  #67  
Old 18-02-2009, 17:15
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Hello Shipmates,
Another one for you.

A smile is infectious
it works just like the flue
Someone smiled at me today
I started smiling too.

I went around the corner
my face spread in a grin
And some one smiled - I realised
I'd passed it on to him.

Now if you find a smile begin
don't leave it undetected
Lets start an epidemic
and get the world infected.

Baz
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  #68  
Old 18-02-2009, 17:25
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

And another one for you shipmates,

There's always another tomorrow
However dark the day
There's always an end to sorrow
Time wipes our tears away
There's always a reason for living
Though sad your heart may be
There's always another horizon
Beyond the one you see.

I don't know who the poet is. But it's a good one.
Baz.
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  #69  
Old 18-02-2009, 22:03
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Greetings shipmates,
Last one for today.

FOR THOSE OF US BORN BEFORE 1940

We were born before Penicillin, Polio shots, Frozen foods, Xerox, Contact lenses, Video's, Frisbees and the pill. We were before Radar, Credit cards, Split atoms, Laser beams and ball point pens. Before Dishwashers, Tumble dryers, Electric blankets, Air conditioners, Drip dry clothes and before man walked on the moon.
We got married first then lived together. We thought that "fast food" was what you ate during Lent, a "Big Mac" was an oversized raincoat and "Crumpet" we had for tea. We existed before "Househusbands", Computer Dating, dual careers, when a "meaningful relationship" mean't getting along with cousins and "Sheltered accommodation" was where you waited for a bus.
We were before day care centres, group homes and disposable nappies. We had never heard of FM radio, Tape decks, Electric typewriters, Artificial hearts, Word processors, Yoghurt and young men wearing earings. For us "Time Sharing" mean't togetherness, A "Chip" was a piece of wood or fried potato, "Hardware" was nuts and bolts and "Software wasn't a word.
Before 1940 "Made in Japan" mean't junk, "Making Out" referred to how you did your exams, "Stud" was something to fasten your collar to your shirt, and "Going all the Way" mean't staying on the bus until you reached the depot. Pizzas, McDonalds and instant coffee were unheard of. In our day, "Cigarette" smoking was fashionable, "Grass" was mown, "Coke" was kept in the coalhouse, a "Joint" was a piece of meat you had on Sundays and "Pot" was something you cooked in. Eldorado was an Ice cream, a "Gay Person" was the life and soul of the party and nothing more, whilst "Aids" was just a beauty treatment or help for someone in trouble.
We, who were born before 1940, must be a hardy bunch when you think of how the world has changed and the adjustments we have had to make. No wonder we are confused and their is a "Generation Gap" today...............but, by the grace of God, we have survived. What a hardy lot we are.

Even the good Lord changed from metric to imperial.
First he had Ten Commandments and then Twelve Apostles.

Baz
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  #70  
Old 19-02-2009, 08:24
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

What lovely words! Its amazing how the meanings of words have changed over time though. For instance in the 1850s to say "I'm gay" was an admission that one was a prostitute!

regards
Jan
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  #71  
Old 19-02-2009, 09:09
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Every Ganges boy will probably be very familiar with
The poem below as it was on the wall in the Gym which was also used as the cinema when i was there and consequently sat there reading it on many occaisions while waiting for the film to start.
It always takes me right back there whenever I read it.

Rudyard Kiplings If

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
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  #72  
Old 19-02-2009, 11:16
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Hi Francis,
I too am a Ganges boy, and Rudyard Kiplings "IF" had to be read by everybody. like you say, Cinema, Jim, and prayers after Sunday Divisions.
Baz
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  #73  
Old 19-02-2009, 12:09
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Greetings Shipmates,
Here's one that was written by John Douglas an ex Ganges boy.

There's a village they call Shotley to the east of Ipswich Town,
The port of Felixstowe across the way.
There's a concrete ship called Ganges near the Orwell flowing down,
And skirted the shores of Harwich bay.

We joined as nozzers new, the sailor boys in blue,
And punched our oppo's teeth out in the gym
We marched, we doubled fast, we climbed that bloody mast,
The Foreign Legion never was as grim.

Ten Divisions - Admirals all - parade ground, Nelson Hall,
And nozzers lane tucked out of sight away.
There was Collingwood and Blake, there was Benbow, Hawk and Drake,
And Grenville down the long, long covered way.

The "Dabtoes" learned to sail a boat, correct a starboard list,
And take evasive action from the bombs.
They could "bend" and "Splice" and "Hitch", they could knot a monkeys fist.
There was semaphore and flashing for the Comm's.

Down laundry hill on jankers, tin hat shades the sweating - frown,
And bayonet bangin "ard against the thigh.
Rifles chafed our collar bones, the hot sun scorching down,
From inverted bowl of blue, the summer sky.

"Do just as you are told, lad, make do with what you got!
Obey the orders, Boy! No "ifs or buts"
Ganges discipline was "hot", and some went "on the trot",
But they dragged em back and lashed em with twelve "cuts".

We had faith and we had hope, we had charity as well,
But these were not just virtures - as you know!
We stumbled and we fell - on those concrete steps to hell.
Our souls were signed to Ganges - be it so.

What Faith? What hope? What charity? Was there really no comparity?
As we staggered up those steps with muscle pain?
We e ell, we knew we'd had enough - but assumed that we were tough-
So they made us double up and down again.

GANGES motto states at length, that "Wisdom, it is strength"
Is there one of you who wouldn't go agen?
Tho " you flogged us an "you flayed us, by the livin God that made us.
You took us on as boys - and made us men!.

John Douglas.

Baz.
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  #74  
Old 19-02-2009, 13:50
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Unhappy Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by barry-sheila@tiscali.co.u View Post
Hi Francis,
I too am a Ganges boy, and Rudyard Kiplings "IF" had to be read by everybody. like you say, Cinema, Jim, and prayers after Sunday Divisions.
Baz
http://www.axfordsabode.org.uk/ganges.htm

This link takes you to a site that shows the delapidation of the Site and Mast if you you have fond memories of Ganges you may find it very sad as I did.
It has some photos of the Poem on the Gym wall
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  #75  
Old 19-02-2009, 14:22
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Default Re: Poems and Words from the Naval Man

Hi Francis,
I too have been into that site, and like you found it very sad indeed.
Everything now seems to have been flattened. The Annexe has already been built on. And I think it wont be long before it's all built on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it was said that who ever owned the site was to look after the mast?
Baz.
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