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  #3526  
Old 21-10-2017, 11:59
Ednamay Ednamay is online now
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,966
Default Re: Funnies??

Starting the weekend .........

Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking.*
*
Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated, he quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them.*
He started the engine, turned it off again and said: “We have reached your destination".*
“Alright pal, here you go,” said the first guy as he gave him the money.*
*
The second guy thanked him enthusiastically.*
The third guy slapped him across the face with brute force.
"What was that for?" Yelled the surprised driver, thinking he was caught.
"Next time don't go so fast!*You nearly killed us!"
*
Edna
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  #3527  
Old 22-10-2017, 11:44
Ednamay Ednamay is online now
Vice-Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,966
Default Re: Funnies??

A "genteel" one for Sunday .................

John and his wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know love," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist and my bum is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs and my arms are all flabby." She turns to John and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."**
He thinks about it for a bit and then says in a soft voice. . . .*
"Well... there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Edna
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  #3528  
Old Yesterday, 11:31
Ednamay Ednamay is online now
Vice-Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,966
Default Re: Funnies??

A fishy story ? ? ?

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box.*
*

We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."*

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.
*
The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes!*

Lot's of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"*

"I did, they're in your tackle box."*

Edna
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