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Old Yesterday, 13:32
phill rose's Avatar
phill rose phill rose is offline
Vice Commodore
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Cowplain
Posts: 743
Default Re: Funnies??

You know Essex girls, they have a wide knowledge.

Q: How can you tell if a car comes from Essex?

A: Holes from stiletto heels can be found in the head lining.
Old, male, and pale.
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Old Today, 11:25
Ednamay Ednamay is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,941
Default Re: Funnies??

Thank you, shipmates, all contributions gratefully received !

Now, something unusual ..................

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What??" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but why?"

"Oh, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get sc****d!"

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