World Naval Ships Forums  
VIEW ALL OF OUR CURRENT SPECIAL OFFERS HERE!

Go Back   World Naval Ships Forums > Shore Leave > Shore Leave
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Shore Leave Off topic discussion and general chat.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #3626  
Old 18-01-2018, 11:54
Ednamay Ednamay is offline
Vice-Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,991
Default Re: Funnies??

Naughty? Or not?

Three little lads were on their way home from school when one of them noticed a red Ferrari parked at the side of the road.
He said: "When I'm older I'm going to get a great job and buy one of them."
The second lad said: "I am going to university to get a great education, and a great job and buy one also."
The third lad says: "I'm going to get a job like my sister."
The other two asked what she did.
"She's a pr******te."
"What's a pr******te?" the other two ask.
"I don't know, but that's my sister's car."

Edna
Reply With Quote
  #3627  
Old 20-01-2018, 13:00
Ednamay Ednamay is offline
Vice-Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,991
Default Re: Funnies??

Saved this one for the weekend ..........

Father O’Flannagan dies due to old age. Upon entering St. Peter’s gate, there is another man in front of him in the queue waiting to go into heaven. St. Peter asks the man, “What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?”

The man responds “My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York city taxi driver for 14 years!”

“Very well,” says St. Peter, “Here is your silk robe and golden scepter, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord.”

St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks “What is your name and what did you accomplish?”

He responds, “I’m Father O’Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62 years to the Lord.”

“Very well,” says St. Peter, “Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter.”

“Wait a minute,” says O’Flannagan, “You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden scepter, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?”

“Well,” St. Peter replied, “We work on a performance scale. While you preached, everyone slept, but when he drove taxis, everyone prayed!”

Edna
Reply With Quote
  #3628  
Old Yesterday, 12:30
Ednamay Ednamay is offline
Vice-Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,991
Default Re: Funnies??

A real quickie ...............

At a police station, late one night, a very disheveled but pretty blonde girl walks in crying.

"Whats up young lady, what can we do to help you?"

"I've been graped!", she said.

"Surely you mean raped?" said the officer of the law.

"No she said, that's simply not right, there was a bunch of them!

Edna
Reply With Quote
  #3629  
Old Today, 11:56
Ednamay Ednamay is offline
Vice-Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: On the outskirts of Sandown, Isle of Wight
Posts: 1,991
Default Re: Funnies??

Something to ponder ?

Mr. Jacobs, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Arnold, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Arnold gasped, then said coldly, "Mr. Jacobs, I don't think that is an appropriate question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this!"*
With that she sat down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Jacobs called on Miss Jones, another student, and asked the same question.*Miss Jones, with composure, replied: "That would be the pupil of the eye, under conditions of dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Jacobs.
"And now, Miss Arnold, I have three things to say to you:
One, you have not studied your lesson.
Two, you have a dirty mind.
And three,
you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Edna
Reply With Quote
Reply



Ship Search by Name : Advanced Search
Random Timeline Entry : 7th January 1932 : HMS Blanche : Sailed Malta

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
RCN Signal Funnies from the Second World War Harley Canadian Ships and Crews 12 18-11-2014 18:05


All times are GMT. The time now is 16:45.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.