View Full Version : Shore leave for everyone
The Sailor
10-02-2008, 21:47
OK, sailors, here is the new chat section where we talk to each other in the wee small hours.
The forum staff have now supplied blonds. Feel free to chat them up.
Oh. Just one thing for you post count kings. The post count has been disabled here, so you don't get embarrased about shirking your duty to your shipmates.
Be back on board by 7pm.:)
romft1945
10-02-2008, 22:02
Thanks well here Iam back from travels in North Africa came across a sandstorm attached and believe it or not rain the real wet stuff weather was not to bad found all the local drinking and grotty eating houses but it was a winter break so no complaints,
Rom
Forget the photos not excepting them at present
herakles
10-02-2008, 22:08
I hope that this new section gets plenty of use.
It may contribute to discussion in threads wandering off topic.
But what we need is a way to be able to say: "let's continue this in the chat room".
Has anyone any ideas how to do this?
The Sailor
10-02-2008, 22:12
Yeah Herk say "Lets continue this in the chat room " and come here.
Rom. Just what is it you do in North Africa?
romft1945
10-02-2008, 22:21
Nothing my dear, I retired at 54 and just travel, going to Kenya in June all being well ,if not Cuba is the second option ,then if all goes well ,October we are going to Auschwitz I just like to travel the old sailor coming out in me,my camera and I go walkies so to speakstill for some reason the photos wont download,
Rom
cissystar650
10-02-2008, 22:23
Nothing my dear, I retired at 54 and just travel, going to Kenya in June all being well ,if not Cuba is the second option ,then if all goes well ,October we are going to Auschwitz I just like to travel the old sailor coming out in me,my camera and I go walkies so to speakstill for some reason the photos wont download,
Rom
Blimey, I get excited if I go north of Watford these days!
But seriously, had most of last year living in Spain, so am more than happy to stay close to home for a while yet. Sounds like you have seen a lot Rom?
romft1945
10-02-2008, 22:28
it started in 1954 when I went to Hongkong to live with my parents,then ceylon as it was,then 1961 I joined the navy and the rest is history so to speak,by the way to upset you all the cost of fuel in Tunisia at the moment is 48p a litre,
ROM:rolleyes:
herakles
10-02-2008, 22:39
I'll upset you even more and tell you that petrol costs 10c a litre in Saudi Arabia. As for the cost of cars there - make you weep. And it's a country where you don't pay income tax. These are a couple of the pluses!
The Sailor
10-02-2008, 22:42
I have to confide [megatrendy Nelsonian talk] that I'd rather be in Australia paying $ 1.24 than be there paying 10P Herk.
romft1945
10-02-2008, 22:46
Capn could not agree more it is the pits putting it politely flys bigger than parrots and full of camels that spit ugh!:cool:
herakles
10-02-2008, 22:47
Agree Sailor. There are many unpleasant aspects to that country.
But it was a fascinating place to visit.
herakles
10-02-2008, 22:49
it started in 1954 when I went to Hongkong to live with my parents,then ceylon as it was,then 1961 I joined the navy and the rest is history so to speak,by the way to upset you all the cost of fuel in Tunisia at the moment is 48p a litre,
ROM:rolleyes:
Ah! Sri Lanka. What a wonderful place. I've been there several times. I would like to live there.
romft1945
10-02-2008, 22:51
They are all lovely contries it is the idiots who run them that ruin it for us mortals,
Rom:p
The Sailor
10-02-2008, 22:53
I went to Auschwitz on a Cosmos bus trip Rom.
Too much time was wasted at the Black Madonna as I could have stayed at the prison camps all day. My wife and I did see it and Birkenau though. About three to four hours was allocated.
I have been most places in the world, but that holds the most memories.
herakles
10-02-2008, 22:54
So true rom. So true.
I have travelled a great deal and never found anyone who hasn't been very much like me, despite being in exotic locations. People all around the world are so nice. But it's the dills that run these places that leave something to be desired.
I don't like where this is going if you switch from countries to forums. :D
romft1945
10-02-2008, 22:58
Sorry KC you have lost me with that comment?
herakles
10-02-2008, 23:01
Me too Kc. What is it you are saying?
rom,
But it's the dills that run these places that leave something to be desired.
Being the site admin, I'm expecting a dig at my running of the site any minute. :D
herakles
10-02-2008, 23:05
Certainly not Kc. I was referring to the dills that run countries!
The Sailor
10-02-2008, 23:06
Hell no Kc. We think you're perfect don't we members?
The Sailor
10-02-2008, 23:08
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just
put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear
me over those big engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo,
so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'"
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
Princess and I take orders from no one.'"
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,
"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch!"
It seems I lost everyone for a moment there with my sense of humour, I'll make a note to not try to be funny when I have such a serious looking avatar.
romft1945
10-02-2008, 23:10
Sorry KC you got that all wrong I was also refering to the idiots ie Prime Ministers etc etc etc,
ROM:mad:
Living over the border Iamsure your troops will forgive,
ROM
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:15
Hi Your Ladyship, Gentlemen and His Excellency the most Admirable KC!
I have noticed as well as someone else there is a guest on here!
romft1945
10-02-2008, 23:20
Not sure I like the idea of this guest thing if you have nothing to hide join and show yourself,
ROM:cool:
herakles
10-02-2008, 23:21
This joke seems vaguely familiar Sailor!
One from me ... ...
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:22
Anyone out there. Strewth - this will take some getting used to!
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:22
Ah - the guest has gone - how bizarre...
romft1945
10-02-2008, 23:24
Sailor that was not a joke it actually happened on an American airlines flight and the steward was sacked as a result,
Rom:p
Guests drop by all the time, as well as spiders for the search engines, a maximum being almost 200 at one time. :eek:
herakles
10-02-2008, 23:25
Hi Your Ladyship, Gentlemen and His Excellency the most Admirable KC!
I have noticed as well as someone else there is a guest on here!
The forum is open to anyone who wants to look.
Often I send a friend a link to something they will find interesting. They come here, read it and leave again.
Of course it would be nice if they stayed and became a member. I feel this entry is the way many people come to join forums.
romft1945
10-02-2008, 23:27
Thanks for that KC Tel iam still catching up on what I missed while away ,still here me dear but flagging a bit now having only got home 2day,
ROM:)
Thanks Herk like you wish they would stay.
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:27
Maybe this shore leave section needs to mutate into a chatroom!
I wonder how difficult that would be to achieve? It would be great to actually talk to some of you...
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:28
Glad you had a fine hol Rom...
Looking into it Terry but will take a bit of doing, programming wise. Will see what I can come up with when I'm at work (and not up to my eyeballs in other sites).
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:31
Thank you KC - I fully appreciate your work commitments - it can`t be easy having to run this as well. Especially as it is obviously expanding on a week by week basis...
herakles
10-02-2008, 23:32
I've learned one lesson already.
The speed that posts are being made to this particular place. Never seen the like of it before.
A chat room would be good. Unless we can all agree to use one of the existing chatrooms and perhaps make it a conferencing chat. Hard to achieve though.
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:33
Are you actually there Herk - or have you just parked your name!
Haha - you are there...
Terry, I couldn't be happier it is expanding on a week to week basis. We have had the sites as you know (battleships-cruisers.co.uk) for some time now, but this is the first opportunity we have given for people to interact with the site and each other properly, and it just generates more interest and inspires us to continue with the sites. One chap searching for info on his father found one of his ex-crew mates from (I believe) a corvette or sloop in WW2, and they could share photos and memories that were personal to them. Perhaps not historically siginificant, but of unbelievable personal value I would imagine. It gives me more work but it's worth it.
romft1945
10-02-2008, 23:37
Perhaps Herks it is because you have some dedicated members who appreciate what you have done in the past and continue to do,me Iwould not have a clue how to manage a site but I will support those who do,
ROM:)
That includes you the boss KC
herakles
10-02-2008, 23:37
I AM here! And just about to have breakfast. In which case, I won't be here!
romft1945
10-02-2008, 23:42
Me to mate time to het the hammock and swing the light,ROM:o
Capn why do you think I came here it is good, informative, interesting and from what I have seen so far a good intelligent bunch of people,all the other sites none to be mentioned that I have paid for in the past have or are going the way of chat up sites,where most of the members do nothing but slag each other off you can do that in a pub if you so desire to do so,Iam all for going forward but and I think Iam right in saying this, this is primarily a naval site and a damn good one at that.
Have a chat thread but dont let it go the way the others have where people just come in to moan and groan that will encourage all sorts of muppets,
ROM:)
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:52
A great example KC. I am sure there will be many similar cases in the time to come...
I cant see there is any chance of that happening here Rom...
The Sailor
10-02-2008, 23:56
Yes I know Rom. We don't want that to happen.
No jokes will be accepted that include swear words and further, obvious swear words won't be accepted with letters missed out.
Those words will be deleted by mods. If necessary the joke will be deleted.
When putting up a joke, please cut and paste it so all words are exposed to moderation.
Just remember what forum this is. It isn't some uncouth forum like all the others.
Rom is right about that. Ladies and gentlemen only here. Just like the navy. Swearing is reserved for uncouth establishments such as the army and airforce.
I asked Kc to implement some way of member interaction. It is up to us all to keep it on track.
romft1945
10-02-2008, 23:56
I hope so going for one last look then to bed cheers all ROM:cool:
astraltrader
10-02-2008, 23:57
OK people - I am off as well for some refreshments. Might be back in an hour or so - or will catch up tomorrow...
The Sailor
11-02-2008, 00:06
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
All of a sudden,he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." The sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous
challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the
bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it,
but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a
little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and
glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly
happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"
herakles
11-02-2008, 08:52
Another "Things kids say" joke.
The Sailor
11-02-2008, 09:56
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and
was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her
purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
"What does it look like?"she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the
policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay,you can go. Sorry,I didn't realize you were a cop."
romft1945
11-02-2008, 10:02
As a trucker stops for a red light,a blond catches up,she jumps out of her car and runs to the truck and shouts at the driver,Hi my name is Heather you are losing your load.
The trucker ignores her and drives off,when the truck stops at another light the girl jumps out of her car runs up to the truck he lowers the window again she says,Hi my name is Heather you are losing your load.
Shaking his head the trucker drives off smiling to himself,another set of lights,againg the blond races up to the truck,the trucker rolls down the window she says Hi my name is Heather you are still losing your load,the trucker ignores her and drives off,At the next set of lights he stops gets out of the cab and calmly walks back to the ladys car,she opens the window and smiles he says Hi my name is KEVIN it is winter here inMichigan and Iam driving a SALT TRUCK. moral of the story !!!!!:p
herakles
11-02-2008, 10:04
A blonde joke!!!!!!!! Nice, Rom
Hey, I'm a blonde!! Albeit a man but still, we of the same colour hair have to object to this rank discrimination ;)
Harley
cissystar650
11-02-2008, 11:19
Ya know... life is so unfair. I grew up with bright red, only to be described as Carrot coloured hair. To stop the 'Ginga' jokes, I dyed it blonde. In Spain I dyed it red again...and now that all the hair dye is slowly growing out (and taking an alarming amount of my hair with it!) my natural colour is now definitely more blonde than red!!! Whats that all about!
Seems my hair colour is destined to always cause me to be the butt of one joke or another *sigh*
:D
romft1945
11-02-2008, 11:45
Bugs bunny ate carrots :confused:
cissystar650
11-02-2008, 11:50
Bugs bunny ate carrots :confused:
:eek::eek:
romft1945
11-02-2008, 12:04
There you go cissy a new signature Ive just come back from thar windy desert do you know the place is full of sand:eek:
cissystar650
11-02-2008, 12:25
There you go cissy a new signature Ive just come back from thar windy desert do you know the place is full of sand:eek:
A desert...full of sand??? Whatever next!!! :eek:
Great pic though!
cissystar650
11-02-2008, 15:45
In the spirit of not knowing where else to post this... so I'll stick it here...
What's everyone reading at the moment, or planning to read? (Good subject on other forums..and I bet it will be way interesting here!!)
My list (Did I tell you I find it hard to concentrate on one thing?? LOL)
Currently reading:
1) The new James Patterson the 7th summit or other
2) Read between My Lines (Stevie Nicks Biography)
3) What came before he shot her (Elizabeth George...the Inspector Linley series)
4) Jutland 1916
5) The History of the Royal Navy in Pictures :eek:
YES.... I really do have FIVE books on the go at one time!
My list of books that I have yet to start:
The Seven Pillars of Wisdom (TE Lawrence)
Currently I am re-reading "The Winds of War" by Herman Wouk, one half of the best war novel ever written (about a U.S. naval family in WWII. Stupefyingly good.
Normally I have lots of books on the go but I'm trying to perfect my list of WWI RN flag officers, which means scouring The Times and Who's Who in my spare time. And who said data entry isn't fun??
Harley
herakles
11-02-2008, 19:24
I'm currently re-reading the last Harry Potter.
I have a big problem here. The only English language book I've ever found is a Lonely Planet guide. So I do re-read the few books I already have.
astraltrader
11-02-2008, 19:49
Herk - That is absolutely uncanny. Two days ago I began to reread - yes you have it - "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince!!"
Just in case this is even stranger, I am just starting Chapter 13 on page 242 [wasn`t that Douglas Bader`s Squadron?]. I am re-reading it purely because I happened to see the most recent Potter film last week.
What a co-incidence...
I am also coming to the end of "Castles of Steel" - an Immense and erudite book on the Great War at Sea...
Like Cissy I always have at least a couple of books on the go at once - sometimes up to half a dozen, but I only ever read one fiction book at a time...
Over and out...
romft1945
11-02-2008, 20:13
Strange as it may seem Iam currently for the third time reading Full Circle by Michael Palin, perhaps we both have the same blood, with our need to travel,
ROM:)
Are we still on blonde jokes...
Why was the blonde staring at carton of orange for hours and hours.......
because it said concentrate.:D
As a point of discusion for you men, why do people always think blonde jokes are about women, aren't there any "dumb blonde" men in this world?
As to what I am currently re- reading...... my pc instructions !
Viv
The Sailor
11-02-2008, 21:49
You make sure you concentrate on that Viv. LOL
A man approached a very beautiful woman in
the large supermarket and said,
"I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.
"Because every time I talk to a woman like you,
my wife appears out of nowhere"
herakles
11-02-2008, 23:34
I have no doubt that what you received is at least spam and quite possibly something intended to defraud you in some way Sailor.
It isn't Nigerian but it's next best thing - Russia.
I would very strongly advise members to take no action over this spam.
And I'm certain that it isn't appropriate to be posted here.
The Sailor
11-02-2008, 23:52
I don't think there are too many members here that didn't know that this is a joke. Of course it's spam. This stuff comes through every day. None of these girl pics are genuine. It is to make contact with gullible people. I give our members more credit than to think that this is anything else.
However, I have removed the reply address and cut it down to the basics.
herakles
12-02-2008, 00:04
If, as you say, you are getting this stuff through every day, then I advise that you change your email address as you have been compromised. I also advise you to check your computer for spyware.
The Sailor
12-02-2008, 00:13
If you remember back I put a thing on the forum about a huge increase in this stuff since I joined the forum. Kc said that he subsequently altered the format so non members couldn't see our IP addresses. Maybe it was that, I don't know.
You don't live in the"West" Herk so you wouldn't know how much of this stuff is coming through. Nearly every day I get the usuals from Nigeria telling me that my bank account details are needed by someone who was in the government there and wants to move 20 million dollars out of the country, which would result in a 10% commission to myself.
Russian girls are the latest scam. Send them money to come out and join you I guess is what it is all about.
herakles
12-02-2008, 00:17
It seems you have little idea of the "East" Sailor.
I say again: I also advise you to check your computer for spyware.
The Sailor
12-02-2008, 00:57
This on this morning's on line news.
Identities stolen with a click in online trend
Tuesday Feb 12 08:00 AEDT
By Erin Tennant
ninemsn
Organised crime groups are turning to social networking sites and other online forums to steal personal identities and extort money, authorities have warned.
The trend is also fuelling black markets for trading identity information and ill-gotten personal financial details over the internet.
"It's a totally different landscape now," Australian High Tech Crime Centre acting director Peter Sykora said.
Crime groups mine the vast amount of personal information available online — especially on networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Bebo or Second Life — to help reconstruct a personal identity for their own ends or to sell it on to the highest bidder.
Mr Sykora said it takes just a few snippets of identity information to launch a personalised spam email, which with one click from the victim releases malicious code, or "malware", that can intercept banking password and authentication details.
But the level of personal detail on networking sites and other open forums alone can be enough to take over a person's identity, LogicaCMG security executive Ajoy Ghosh said.
"I've seen numerous examples where there is enough information available to create a line of credit in someone's name or take over an existing line of credit," he said.
Police enjoy some success prosecuting those who profit from stolen personal details, but say they are hamstrung by an enemy that is difficult to identify and often operates in countries with weak regulatory regimes.
And no matter how tough-to-crack online banking services become, bank customers who are gullible enough to click on a scam URL or simply too trusting when posting otherwise private information on the internet, can find their savings accounts drained or their credit limit maxed out within hours of an attack.
A suggestion is to remove your birthdate and job from your profile
Don't buy on line with your credit card.
herakles
12-02-2008, 01:12
Use of a credit card on-line is completely safe on two conditions:
1. that the user doesn't go to a malicious site
2. that the user makes sure of two things: (a) that the net address of the institution starts with https instead of http and (b) that a padlock shows at the bottom of the page.
One can then use a credit card or do on-line banking or buying with complete confidence - so long as you are not infected with spyware.
The Sailor
12-02-2008, 10:56
Well I pay my utility bills like government accounts with my card, but I'd never buy anything on line. Pay pal is the way to go here now.
With that I wish everyone a good night from far to the south.
Commodore Armiger
12-02-2008, 12:51
This from www.o-hara.com :
Trafalgar Day
A brief but fascinating insight into Nelson's life, set in modern times, subject to modern health and safety regulations and political correctness...You are now on the deck of the recently renamed British Flagship, HMS Appeasement.
"Order the signal, Hardy."
"Aye, aye sir."
"Hold on, Hardy, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's the meaning of this?"
"Sorry sir?" "England expects every person to do his duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability".
"What gobbledegook is this, Hardy?"
"Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
"Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."
"Sorry sir. All naval vessels have been designated smoke-free working environments."
"In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the mainbrace to steel the men before battle."
"The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It's part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."
"Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it. Full speed ahead."
"Sorry Sir, this is a 'no wake' zone. I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."
"Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest, please."
"That won't be possible, sir."
"What?"
"H&S have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness. And they said that rope ladder doesn't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."
"Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."
"Can't do that sir, he's busy installing wheelchair access to the fo'c'sle."
"Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."
"H&S sir. We have to provide a barrier-free environment for the differently abled."
"Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of those words. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."
"Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under-represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."
"Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."
"A couple of problems there too, sir. H&S won't let the crew up the rigging without helmets and sun lotion with a PF of at least 60. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the CDC commercials?"
"I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."
"The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."
"What? This is mutiny."
"It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone There's a couple of ACLU lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."
"Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"
"Actually, sir, we're not."
"We're not?"
"No, sir. The Frenchies and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."
"But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."
"I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be suspended and subject to disciplinary action."
"You must consider every man an enemy who speaks ill of your King."
"Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules."
"Don't tell me - H&S. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"
"As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu. And there's a ban on corporal punishment."
"What about sodomy?"
"Sodomy is legal now, sir, and homosexuals are to be encouraged in the Navy."
"In that case - kiss me Hardy."
herakles
12-02-2008, 12:56
Very good! Most apt.
It highlights political correctness to a T!
The Sailor
12-02-2008, 20:31
I say, damn good Old Bean. Hahahahahah!
Unfortunately a lot isn't far from the truth.
I have a good friend in America who we dined with for weeks on a cruise liner.
He is a retired naval officer. He told me that a serving senior officer friend has told him that since women were allowed to serve on board US Warships, his greatest task is to avoid courts marshall for rape. There are rapes and allogations virtually every week. He said it is a nightmare.
A conviction means the loss of trained personnel. His whole time is taken up in court proceedings and hearings.
Maritime Michael Ian
12-02-2008, 20:53
I hope that this new section gets plenty of use.
It may contribute to discussion in threads wandering off topic.
But what we need is a way to be able to say: "let's continue this in the chat room".
Has anyone any ideas how to do this?
What you could say is either: lets adjourn to the Wardroom, OR See you on the Quarterdeck!!
I'm just wandering through the comments fellas (and ladies where 'ere they be) so this might be a bit out of date.... in which case apols!
Ian
The Sailor
12-02-2008, 21:00
This shares today's news in Australia with that Aboriginal Sorry Day junk by Rudd.
Suitable company.
By Phil Han
ninemsn
Aliens could misinterpret earth's classic songs as declarations of war if they are recklessly broadcast into space, some scientists say.
Last week NASA broadcast a Beatles song, Across the Universe, towards the North Star, in the hope it would be noticed by extra-terrestrial beings.
RELATED LINKS
Your say: Could aliens misinterpret Beatles songs?
But scientists have urged NASA to be more cautious, saying aliens could misinterpret the song, and even take it as a battle cry.
"Before sending out even symbolic messages, we need an open discussion about the potential risks," New Scientist magazine reported Dr Douglas Vakoch of the SETI Institute as saying.
Professor Barrie Jones of Open University said: "the chances are slight, but the consequences would be huge — the end of life on Earth".
"If they have the technology to cross interstellar space to reach us, they will be so much in advance of us humans that there is nothing we could do to resist them," he said.
SETI — the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence — has been listening to the skies for the last 20 years.
The program uses radio telescopes to scan for any messages or noises that may indicate the existence of life on other planets.
Scientist Ainin De Horta, from the SETI Australia Centre, said the there could be dangers in broadcasting songs into deep space.
But he didn't think it would lead to an intergalactic war.
"I think the chances are pretty unlikely that it'll lead to an alien invasion, but I do think there is a point that this should be discussed by the whole world, because who knows what'll happen," Mr De Horta said.
"I think it's highly unlikely that this message will cause a reaction, and that it'll cause a reaction in our lifetime."
Radio waves travel through space at the speed of light or nearly 300,000km per second.
The first radio transmission, sent in the 1920s, would have travelled nearly 90 light years by now.
It's not like picking up the phone and ringing me for instance," Mr De Horta said.
"We're talking about vast distances and a response would take years from even the closet star."
SETI has had a few close calls, or what they call "candidates", but Mr De Horta says any authentic messages would have been identified.
"We get what we call candidates every so often, but none of them turn out to be something that can't be explained, like a statistical anomaly or equipment glitch."
The nearest star to Earth, Alpha Proxima, is four light years away.
herakles
12-02-2008, 22:07
This seems to me to be another of those irresponsible media stories they are so prone to printing.
"But scientists have urged NASA" ... ... Just what scientists are these? Who are they? ARE they scientists? Using the word "scientist" gives the story credence that it doesn't deserve.
The main problem - of many - about UFO stories and the such, is that many people have no concept of the size of our present universe, no idea just how big a light year is.
"The distance light travels in a year". That's a lot of distance. Our star is 8 light minutes from us.
The Sailor
12-02-2008, 22:10
How about when journalists start with "Calls have been made to"?
What calls? Who made them"
How about "one source who asked not to be named said"?
herakles
12-02-2008, 22:19
I can just about accept: "How about "one source who asked not to be named said"?" as an excuse. Sometimes people do talk to reporters "off the record". But of course it's not able to be verified and is an excuse for the journo to say just about anything he pleases.
The biggest change in newspaper reporting over the last few decades has been them not paying much attention to facts. Or verifying their story.
There was a day when one could put faith in newspapers. Not any more. The same I believe can be said about TV news services.
Even the BBC has lost its credibility.
So just where can one get reliable news from now? I would say the net but even here it has to be questionable.
Maybe, just maybe, the BBC World Service news and the BBC Channel 4 TV news. Maybe.
Absolutely BRILLIANT..... and doesn't it just summon it all up about the world we live in nowadays !! Well in the UK anyway. Is it the same beyond these shores ?
Viv
I' m getting tired .... the previous post was in regard to Commodore Arminger's Nelsonian Giggle.
StillIi guess they all count... at this rate I will be rising up the ranks !!
Viv
herakles
14-02-2008, 20:18
This morning's joke for you all:
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..."
Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
herakles
14-02-2008, 20:21
Oh OK, a second one then:
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
The Sailor
15-02-2008, 05:44
This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the
wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for
some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking
like that since I left him seven years ago."
"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think
anybody could celebrate that long."
Services will be held at 2:30pm Saturday at Forever Green
Mortuary.
Lets put the reverse on this !
Woman seen in churchyard standing over a grave weepng and crying uncontrolably saying "why did you die, why did you die"....
A passer by comes up and tries to console her by saying " do not cry so, the pain will pass in time...
No no the woman replies you do not understand... "this is my husband's first wife"
Viv
Hi all
Blimey it's changed on here, for the better I might say. I've managed to get a long weekend off so I'm going to be naughty and have a couple of Noocassles. Then it's back to see them nurses again. It's good to see you ladies on here. no blonds though,,, ooh have I said something wrong, only joking. Talking about that, is it right when old Pavawatsit got to the pearly gates, St Peter said "Oy Jesus here's that tenor (tenner) I owe you.
Any way all the best to you all
See you soon
Alan
The Sailor
15-02-2008, 12:01
PENANCE
As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named
Mary shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business.
Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday
night went to confession in the church which she had always attended as a
child.
In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her
about her work. She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant. She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage.
She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and backflips.
Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies. They witnessed Mary's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other, "Jaysus, Mary & Joseph, will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out tonight, and me without me bloomers on!"
The top 10 things you'll never hear a WOMAN say:
10. What do you mean today's our anniversary?
9. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
8. Oh, this diamond is way too big!
7. And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!
6. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends".
5. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
4. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
3. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.
2. I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.
...and the number 1 thing you'll never hear a woman say:
1. Hey, pull my finger!
One thing you will NEVER hear a MAN say.......
Sorry it's my fault..... I am a BAD driver !
Viv
The Sailor
15-02-2008, 23:29
A Qantas 747 had just finished the long haul from Heathrow and was on it's final approach into Perth Airport.
It had been a stormy trip and the pilots were tired and looked forward to the end of the journey.
In the cabin of the aircraft the flight crew were getting the passengers ready for the landing when the intercom came to life with the customary message to the passengers about thanking them for flying Qantas and other stuff about hire cars .
The first officer went on to tell the crew to prepare for the landing.
The speakers still hummed and were still not turned off when all on board heard the first officer say to the captain, 'Well I'm glad that this one is over, all I want now is a hot woman and a cold drink'.
As one of the young stewardesses hurried down the aisle to tell them to turn off the intercom, a voice dryly said, ' Don't forget the cold drink'.
Maritime Michael Ian
16-02-2008, 20:40
Um... little bit of information please.. re Naval expressions!
In the RAN there was an expression " First turn of the screw settles all debts" was the same expression used in the RN?
Maritime Michael Ian
romft1945
18-02-2008, 09:49
One thing you will NEVER hear a MAN say.......
Sorry it's my fault..... I am a BAD driver !
VivThats because we are not:eek:
Wait for it :eek::eek:
cissystar650
18-02-2008, 11:46
Thats because we are not:eek:
Wait for it :eek::eek:
Hmmm... I think we can rest our case now Viv :p
A Duck was waiting to cross the road..... A chicken walking by said "I wouldn`t if I were you, they will be on about it evermore."
romft1945
18-02-2008, 18:49
The duck was walking across the road ,when the chicken came towards him,Chicken said why are you crossing the road,the duck said,wait for it,
scroll down
Pass Question to difficult:eek::eek::eek:
romft1945
19-02-2008, 21:54
Quick one liners
A girl phoned me and said"Come on over theres no on ehome" I went over she was right no one was home.
My is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out of the window and got arrested for mooning.
My wifes such a bad cook,the dog begs for AlkaSeltzer.
Last night my wife met me at the door,she was wwearing a sexy negligee,the only trouble was she was coming home.:eek:
This is VERY politically incorrect and I will probably be thrown off the forum but........
What is the difference between French soldiers and toast.....
:eek:
You can make soldiers out of toast...........
N.B Please substitute french for any other nationality of your choice !
Viv
The Sailor
19-02-2008, 23:31
Wow! Gasp! Horror! You Brits might want to come back to the Commonwealth if there is any more talk like that.
Don't know if we'd have you lot back now anyway.
A bit dated,as the F-14 is listed, but still funny
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The Sailor
20-02-2008, 05:55
A criminal escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to
the bed he gets on top of her,
kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy's an
escaped convict - look at his clothes!
He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering
in my ear.
He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline.
"I Told him it was in the
bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you too!"
romft1945
20-02-2008, 08:12
Wow! Gasp! Horror! You Brits might want to come back to the Commonwealth if there is any more talk like that.
Don't know if we'd have you lot back now anyway.
I would not blame you if you didnt,can someone describe a brit for me,
ROM:eek:
The Sailor
20-02-2008, 08:26
Yes, I can do that.
Anyone born in Britain before 1960
astraltrader
20-02-2008, 09:46
Sadly Graeme there is a great deal of truth in what you say...
Hi
One definition of being British....... could apply to anybody though.
Viv
:)
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 2005 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2006 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth...
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
and finally...
In 2006 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
herakles
20-02-2008, 12:47
As you say Viv, perhaps not restricted to Britain. But the cap fits!
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. This is weird. Why hasn't there been a green paper? New policing regulations?
One of your best is the one on diet Coke. I understand that the top 10 supermarket items purchased are junk food.
Explain this to the Septic, please.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
romft1945
20-02-2008, 17:42
Blimey it was only a joke what have I started,
ROM:eek:
herakles
20-02-2008, 20:33
Jeff, traditionally during the Xmas lunch, two people each take an end of a long tubular colourful thingie called a cracker and pull. It's supposed to make a noise and fall in two. The person who gets the larger section gets the contents - usually a paper hat and a dreadful joke. Sometimes a completely useless game.
I guess sometimes people get a bit carried away pulling their cracker.
Sometimes a completely useless game
Sometimes?:D
Jack McHammocklashing
31-03-2008, 22:37
Um... little bit of information please.. re Naval expressions!
In the RAN there was an expression " First turn of the screw settles all debts" was the same expression used in the RN?
Maritime Michael Ian
Err yes and no
It was used as, that once leaving the wall, all malice was left behind, and you got on as a crew, not in the sense that all financial debts were settled
The other similar expression, was " what happened in xxxxxx stays in xxxxxx"
ie what happened in Singers stayed in Singers and was not tittle tattled about back home
Jack McHammocklashing
Commodore Armiger
02-04-2008, 20:02
The other similar expression, was " what happened in xxxxxx stays in xxxxxx"
ie what happened in Singers stayed in Singers and was not tittle tattled about back home
I have seen this expression or something close referring to the irritation felt by members of a crew being told that this or that was done differently (i.e. better) on one's previous ship.
Thought that you would be interested in how to make your petrol go further!
How about this?
astraltrader
08-07-2008, 13:11
Strewth Stan - is that a case of Beetling about or Horse-play?
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