RCN Signal Funnies from the Second World War

[Harley]

I culled these rather amusing signals from the late James B. Lamb's books on the Battle of the North Atlantic, "The Corvette Navy" and "On the Triangle Run". Gives "The Cruel Sea" a lighter side, methinks.

Harley

Signal from senior officer of escorts to wayward corvette:
"MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORESAKEN ME?"

From Admiralty to destroyer: "PROCEED WITH ALL DESPATCH."
From destroyer to Admiralty: "REQUEST DESTINATION."
From Admiralty to destroyer: "ADEN, REPEAT, ADEN."
From destroyer to Admiralty: "AM AT ADEN."

Canadian corvette to base: "AM TIED UP AT NO.5 BERTH."
From base to corvette: "SHOE LACES ARE TIED UP. HM. SHIPS ARE SECURED."

Base authority asks a corvette how long he would be before leaving harbour.
From corvette to base: "TWO HUNDRED AND FIVE FEET AS USUAL."

During a botched mid-ocean manoevre:
Senior officer to corvette: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Corvette to senior officer: "LEARNING."

Port Authority to corvette: "WHAT IS ALL THAT LAUNDRY HANGING UP FOR?"
Corvette to Port Authority: "SUBMIT, TO DRY."

Corvette to MTB: "GOOD LUCK."
MTB to corvette: "THANKS. ACTUALLY WE RELY ON SKILL."

Coastal Command aircraft signalling a ship off Rockall early in the war.
From aircraft: "WHAT SHIP?"
From ship: "GRAF SPEE."
From aircraft: "ARE YOU NAVAL TYPES STILL SO FAST ASLEEP THAT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF THE END OF THE GRAF SPEE?"
From ship: "WHICH END?"

From ship to ship: "PLEASE SEND YOUR ARTIFICER TO SEE OUR FORWARD GUN."
Reply: "OUR ARTIFICER CAN SEE YOUR FORWARD GUN FROM HERE."

After a collision between two RCN warships.
Senior officer to assailant: "WHAT DO YOU INTEND TO DO NOW?"
Reply: "BUY A FARM."

From re-fitted carrier: "HOW DO I LOOK?"
Reply from escort: "GO BACK TO LOCH NESS."

At the end of hostilities...
From escort to F.O.N.F. (Flag Officer Newfoundland): "REQUEST PERMISSION TO F.O. FROM N.F."

[herakles]

Excellent! I particularly liked the ones that replied to the literal meaning of the words:
Base authority asks a corvette how long he would be before leaving harbour.
From corvette to base: "TWO HUNDRED AND FIVE FEET AS USUAL."

There must be more members can contribute. Though they'll have to be good to beat these.

I look forward to them. :D

[Harley]

Some more,

From Destroyer to U.S. Blimp:
"KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, I HAVE A PIN."

To HMCS Coaticook from HMCS Levis after days of monotonous patrolling:
"13 HEBREWS 8"
Which read; "Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and todaym and for ever."

HMCS Camrose passing Gibraltar:
From Gibraltar to Camrose: "WHAT SHIP?"
From Camrose to Gibraltar: "WHAT ROCK?"

December, 1941. A stormy sea and a boring patrol:
Corvette to Corvette: "COMMENCE HOSTILITIES WITH JAPAN."
Reply: "REQUEST PERMISSION TO FINISH BREAKFAST FIRST."

Random signal to RCN signal station at Abro:
"ABOUTS OF YOUR FATHER UNKNOWN. BELIEVED TO BE TRAVELLING THROUGH EUROPE DISGUISED AS A NUN."

British ship to Canadian ship, taking the latter in tow:
"TAKE MUMMY'S HAND."

Harley

[tim lewin]

Capt Grindle of Vigilant running short of water (as per) and taking on more from Urchin "I accept refreshment at any hands, however lowly".
Lewin -Urchin to Vigilant "It revolts me, but i do it".
Mikado
I believe Capt. Jackie Broome (victim of most of the angst against the PQ17 debacle) wrote a very good book on wartime signals. My parents communicated throughout my childhood by bible and shakespeare references as i am sure did very many separated service famlies.

[greatbigseas]

while patrolling the Persian Gulf during the 1991 Gulf War, I was particularly frustrated trying to communicate with our Spanish consort and language was becoming a safety issue working at close quarters during a replenishment at sea. I finally sent the message, REQUEST ENGLISH SPEAKING OFFICER ON BRIDGE", to with the Spanish operator replied "I AM ENGLISH SPEAKING OFFICER"

[Scurs]

Destroyer coming into harbour makes a perfect approach to buoy.
Admiral watching from shore, says to his signalman, "Send, GOOD".
It then all turns pear shaped and Destroyer makes a pigs ear of securing, so Admiral turns again to Signalman,
"Add to my last....GOD".

Grovelling Canteen Boat to Captain(D)..........."Submit Good Morning".
Capt(D)....."Not approved...............but may re-consider after breakfast".

[Matelot]

Tim is indeed correct. Capt Broome wrote a wonderful book called "Make a Signal" that I believe most of the above messages have been quoted from in Lamb's book and others. Very difficult to locate a copy, took me a year to find a copy in a used book store for a friend.

My favourite was from a Corvette leaving Newfie John at wars end.

To FONF (Flag Officer Newfoundland)

FM Corvette

//

Request permission to FO NF

//

(Think about it):D

[Vegaskip]

Broome also wrote a sequal "Make Another Signal", as you say quite difficult to find now, but after trying of and on for ages I spotted both on a used book site, and got both for a 'tenner'.
They are a good read and a good laugh.

regards